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If All Movies Ever Made Were Really About Software...

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

A Few Good Objects
Col. Jessup: You want destructors?
Kaffe: I think I’m entitled.
Col. Jessup: You want destructors?
Kaffe: I want deterministic finalization.
Col Jessup: You can’t handle deterministic finalization!

Pulp Compilers
Vincent: You know what they call a switch statement in VB?
Jules: They don’t call it a switch statement?
Vincent: No man, this is the same language that has an AndAlso operator.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a Select Case.

Full Metal Packet
Gunnery Sargent Hartman: My orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the chops to serve on my beloved accounting package software project. Do you maggots understand that?

Star Warez
[R2-D2 and Chewbacca are pair programming aboard the Millennium Falcon]
Chewbacca: Wurgleaaaaaaaghooooo!
C-3PO: It’s legal syntax. Screaming about it won’t help you.
Han Solo: Delete it. It’s not wise to upset a wookie.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That’s because droids don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets over bad code. Wookies are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Rrrrroo.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy , R2. Let the wookie take the keyboard.

Lord Of The Token Rings
Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Yes.
Aragorn: Not nearly frightened enough. I know your bug count.

Null Terminator 2
Terminator: I need your source code, your compiler, and your static code analysis tools.
Biker: You forgot to say please…

Bridge Pattern Over The River Kwai
Colnel Saito: Do not speak to me of rules! This is software programming! This is not a game of cricket!

2001: The Speech Recognition Odyssey
Dave: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: What did you say about Bombay, Dave?
Dave: I said open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I don’t know anyone named Doris, Dave.
Dave: Give me a freakin’ keyboard!