Bottom Of The Article Barrel

It happens to everyone. You pop into the grocery store to pick up some soda and head to the 10 item or less express checkout lane. The person in front of you has 25 bags of vegetables. The clerk has to do a price check on red onions. The customer can’t find their debit card. The cash register runs out of paper. Suddenly, a wormhole appears and sucks all of the employees into the vast space-time continuum. While you wait in line for hours, the store staff drinks gin and plays blackjack inside an East Cleveland speakeasy circa 1921.

I’ve been in these situations before, and I hear the people around me start to grumble as the minutes tick by. Instead of complaining, I find times like these are perfect for meditation and brainstorming, except it is difficult to concentrate around tabloid magazines. Here are some article ideas I came up with at the store, but I don’t think I’ll follow through with them in 2005.

• Embezzlement for Fun and Profit: Implement a Salami Slicing Algorithm with C#

• Biztalk Installation – The Musical

• Build A Comment Spam Engine With the .NET WebRequest Class, You Slimy Rock Sucking Twit

• Phiber & Cybergrrl: A Post Modern Love Story.